


Too Late to Say Goodbye

by Something_about_mileven



Series: The Fear That Drives You Needs To Be Stopped [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Cheating, Drug Use, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurts So Good, I just—, It's not love, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Sad, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, and thats the ultimate proof that he's loveable, enjoy., fluff for like three paragraphs, he chooses ty partly because he thinks oh i can make him change, it's pretty short so it won't take long to read, jishwa must be protected at all costs, need for someone anyone. and so he latches onto someone he knows will hurt him., on joshuas side it's more of need, partly because he knows ty wont change and wants to hurt himself, then it gets sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-01-15 17:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18503902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Something_about_mileven/pseuds/Something_about_mileven
Summary: This is not a love story.





	Too Late to Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> All my fic names are gonna be Cage the Elephant lyrics. I will shameless promote them because they are 100% and far too much underrated. Go listen to ready to let go lyric video everyone. Listen. To the. L y r i c. V i d e o. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zHBJjrPIfkQ

This is not a love story.

 

It’s Christmas Eve, and his sister takes him to church. He nearly falls asleep, so his sister shoos him out. He goes outside to sit on a bench and wait for Ashley, but finds his seat occupied by a deathly thin boy around his age smoking a cigarette. Josh thinks he looks like an angel. The boy smiles at him in invitation, and Josh’s hands shake. He asks the boy why he’s sitting outside. He says that he likes listening to the angels sing. He asks the boy why he’s smoking. The boy says he feels it brings him closer to God. Josh stutters through his words for the rest of the night, and learns that the boys name is Tyler. 

 

This is not a love story.

 

The first time he spends the night with Tyler, they get high and play Mario Kart until 6 am, laughing loud enough to make Jenna--Tyler’s roommate--yell at them to keep it down. Tyler sings absentmindedly as he plays, so the red haired boy listens to his angel sing. Josh’s hands shake with anxiety, so Tyler kisses his hands like a prince, and holds his hand for the rest of the night. It ends with them falling asleep on top of each other with a smile and a light kiss pressed to Tyler's temple, their hands still entwined.

 

 

He uses the haunted house as an excuse to grasp Tyler's hand tightly within his, holding on as if it's the last thing grounding him to this Earth. He barely notices the skeletons and zombies that pop out. Wherever he was, Tyler would take care of him.

 

 

He blushes when Tyler catches him fondly gazing at him when he thinks Tyler's asleep. Tyler just grins and says, “Like what you see, hot stuff?” It makes Josh blush even more.

 

 

Still wrapped up in their sheets late in the afternoon, they giggle and smile all day, neither wanting to break out of their little world that they created just for them.

 

 

They kiss in a pool at a hotel away from the world. He remembers calling Tyler his angel, his saviour, the love of his life, and that when they kissed Tyler tasted of chlorine. He remembers thinking maybe… just maybe. 

 

This is not a love story.

 

The first time he caught Tyler flirting with a handsome bartender, he remembers Tyler flashed him a vicious and unfeeling grin, then later that night pinned Josh down with cold and unapologetic hands.

 

This is not a love story.

 

He ignores the sound of Tyler not bothering to try and sneak into their bedroom, undoubtedly with hickeys and bruises scattered over him, replacing old marks Josh left in an attempt to try and prove that Tyler could be his, was his.

 

This is not a love story.

 

He wonders if Tyler cares, or ever cared. He will never ask, because he's afraid he already knows the answer.

 

This is not a love story.

 

He wakes up Tyler leaving in the middle of the night, trying to kiss Josh on his forehead when he woke up. He was confused. Not about Tyler leaving, but that he bothered to kiss him goodbye. He just stares tiredly at Tyler, asking, "Why?" Tyler breaks down immediately, falling back on their bed in tears while the red haired boy presses light kisses over every inch of Tyler, worshiping his body in an attempt to remind Tyler that he's his angel. Tyler stays for another day.

 

This is not a love story.

 

Tyler makes him pancakes in the morning and loudly sings love songs to him. He kisses Josh’s shaking hands, the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile that wasn’t cruel or mocking for the first time in ages.

 

This is not a love story.

 

Tyler and his cold hands firmly hold down Josh’s arm as Tyler praises the red haired boy, the syringe sinking into Josh’s arm and his eyes rolling up into the back of his head in pleasure. He lies back and pretends not to notice the smug smirk on Tyler's face, knowing that he now had complete and 100% control over Josh.

 

This is not a love story.

 

They go walking by a pond, Tyler chucking rocks into the water with a cigarette fit tightly between his lips. The red haired boy places a dandelion in Tyler’s hair, earning a small noise of gratification when he fondly calls Tyler his dandelion. He’s afraid to let go of Tyler's hand, now that his hands were shaking from something other than anxiety. Their date is cut short when not for the first time that day he gets a nosebleed. Josh is worried but Tyler just calls it a side effect, that it's worth the occasional nosebleed. Josh silently agrees, but doesn't want to admit it, looking down abashedly with red cheeks. Tyler smiles and licks the blood off Josh’s chin.

 

This is not a love story.

 

He loses his job for not showing up anymore. He doesn’t care. He only cares about Tyler now. Because Tyler will always take care of him. They have made a home together in their small, nicotine filled apartment. Tyler is his angel, and he has made a home under his skin. 

 

This is not a love story.

 

He is alone and shaking in the middle of the night, his mind on one thing and one thing only, and for the first time it's not Tyler. He sobs in between heaves and waits. Tyler promised he'd be back with more. He left after taking Josh’s money, leaving the pale and shivering boy with a kiss and a promise that he'll take care of him. But the sun was starting to rise and Josh was alone.

 

This is not a love story.

 

He doesn't say anything when Tyler returns 3 days later, arm marked up and neck covered in hickeys. Tyler ignores--or doesn’t care, that Josh’s breath smells like vomit, that there’re burns littering his thighs, or the enormous amount of cigarettes everywhere. Josh doesn’t try to talk about it either, not wanting to acknowledge the damage done. What he does do is hold Tyler close, and plead for Tyler to "Stay with me." Tyler shushes him and promises Josh he loves him. Josh doesn't correct him. He just gratefully lies back and lets Tyler sink the comforting needle into his arm. He thanks him.

 

This is not a love story.

 

He doesn't know when he realizes that he and Tyler are over. Josh tries to think back to when Tyler slipped away from him, but realizes that he was never really there in the first place. Even when Tyler's lying next to him, his mind absent and far away, Josh finds himself sleeping alone more and more. He figures the reason he always holds onto Tyler's hand isn't to hide his anxiety but really a futile attempt to keep Tyler grounded, staying with him. The more he looks at their entwined hands the more he thinks he looks like a little boy trying desperately to keep his balloon from floating away. He tries to hold onto the memories they had together, but it's getting harder and harder to imagine Tyler without a possessive smile and empty eyes. Really though, he always knew Tyler wanted to ruin him. He wanted Tyler to ruin him.

 

He takes Tyler to a church. They sit on a bench and smoke silently outside, fingers interlocked. He knows he will never see Tyler again, so he kisses Tyler and thanks him.

 

Josh sits alone outside of a church, smoking quietly and listening to the angels sing. His hands stop shaking.

**Author's Note:**

> I—I just realized you can’t play Mario kart with one hand. I should know this. I rock at Mario kart.
> 
> I originally wrote this for this other fic I was writing but realized this couldn't really fit in it, thus me posting this.
> 
> Sorry if it sucks. Lol.
> 
> ALSO!!!!! mad props to my beta devi. the devi is short for devil. She somehow fixed my utter lack of devotion to stick with present/past tense. MAD props to her, if you comment pleeeeeease shout her out. Or just comment, since I’m lonely and starving for attention 
> 
> Remember:  
> c o m m e n t


End file.
